Wednesday 26 April 2017
Dealing with A
When I get told it's just hair, it doesn't help one bit in fact it infuriates me, according to society having hair makes you attractive if you don't have any you are automatically labelled Ill, which is fair enough because people aren't to know what is wrong with you! Which is why the battle I have every day is wether to leave the house or not although I try to find my confidence it's pretty non existent it's hard to get rid of thoughts like 'no body wants a bald girlfriend' and I know most will say that's not true but it's hard to push those thoughts out. I don't expect people to understand what it feels like to be me to live and face my daily struggles I don't even want them to because understanding would mean going through it themselves and I don't wish that on anybody! Losing hair is far from easy there are many times I sit and cry and hope I wake up from this bad dream. I know people will read this and think I'm being selfish I probably am because I'm not dying, but my hair has and I wont get it back! I have a lovely long wig that I can swish around in its comfortable but the worry of it looking false scares me and having the fear of it coming off when your on a night out dancing away, i can hide under it though it gives me the ability to walk out the front door and try to be normal. I love my wig but theres part of me that hates it its not me its not my hair. i'll get used to it i'm sure. Being a girl in 2017 is very hard we all have our battles everyone wants long thick hair and perfect brows I have to be different I'd rather it through choice but I guess I got dealt the shit hand I know I will get to the end of this dark path I'm on and I will accept my flaws but it's going to take time so please bare with me whilst I get used to having Scarring Alopecia.
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I'm 18 and i was diagnosed with alopecia areata over a year ago. Everything you have spoken about in this post is what i think about on a daily basis, constantly over worrying my partner will leave me due to my baldness, my anxiety shooting through the roof whenever i compare myself to girls on social media and even my friends when i look at the length and how thick and lush their hair is. How i'd do anything to turn back time just over a year ago; to be able to stroke through my own natural hair again. Hearing the sentence 'its only hair at least you've not got a serious illness' if i had a pound coin for everytime i've heard that sentence i'd be a millionaire! This post speaks the truth and the hurt we, ourselves, have to experience and go through. Although i'm more accepting of our auto immune disease now and i'm in such a better position due to reassuring and supportive family and friends. They'll still to this day never understand the emotional rollercoaster we have to endure in due to this day and age where hair and looks are priority over the basic needs in life. Keep your head held high, i really appreaciate this blog you have written. Sending you lots of hugs and laughter.
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